What Grieving Mothers Want for Mother's Day
These are some very observations on helping grieving moms get through Mother's Day written by my friend Renee Wood of TheComfortCompany.net.
We don't like to think that this day could be anything but joyous, but for many women it is a day to remember their lost love, whether it be a miscarriage or loss of a child. Just the other day I received an email from a customer, asking to be taken off the mailing list because the emails reminded her of her loss. This is for her and all the other mom's who have a piece of their heart forever in Heaven.
10 Simple Ways to Help Moms Cope When Mother's Day HurtsAcknowledgement is what grieving mother's want most for Mother's Day, suggests a survey by www.thecomfortcompany.net, a website that specializes in meaningful sympathy gifts. The online survey asked “What can others do to ease your pain on Mother's Day”. Over 80 percent of the 200 respondents answered, "Recognize that I am a mother". “While Mother's Day is generally considered to be a day of celebration, for many women it is a day of pain and loss” says Renee Wood, former social worker and founder of The Comfort Company. "It's important to remember those moms who have had a failed pregnancy or who have lost a child at any age." In response to the survey results, thecomfortcompany.net has issued a list of ten simple ways to reach out to a grieving mother on this difficult holiday.
1. Recognize that they are a motherOffer a hug and a "Happy Mother's Day". Send a card to let them know you remember they are a mother even though their child is not with them physically.
2. Acknowledge they have had a lossExpress the message, "I know this might be a difficult day for you. I want you to know that I am thinking about you.”
3. Use their child's name in conversationOne mother responded, "People rarely speak his name anymore, but when they do it’s like music to my ears".
4. Plant a living memorialA tree or rose bush, like memories, will grow in beauty as the years pass.
5. Visit the grave siteMany mothers felt that it was "extremely thoughtful" when others visited their child's grave site and left flowers or a small pebble near the headstone.
6. Light a candleLet the mother know you will light a candle in memory of their child on Mother's Day.
7. Share a memory or pictures of the childGive thegift of a memory. One mother wrote that the "greatest gift you can give is a heart felt letter about my child and a favorite memory with them".
8. Send a gift of remembranceMany mothers felt a small gift would be comforting. Suggestions included: an angel statue, jewelry, a picture frame, a library book or toy donation in the child’s name or anything personalized.
9. Don't try to minimize the lossAvoid using any clichés that attempt to explain the death of a child. ("God needed another angel.") Secondly, don't try to find anything positive about the loss ("You stillhave two healthy children").
10. Encourage Self-CareSelf-care is an important aspect of the "healing the mind and spirit effort" according to several mothers. Encourage a grieving mother to take care of herself. Give her a gift certificate to a day spa or any place where she can be pampered. What have you done to comfort a friend who has lost a child? Visit- www.comfortcompany.net for bereavement gifts Visit www.grandparentgiftcompany.com
©2007 The Comfort Company. All Rights Reserved. May be reprinted with permission and credit to: www.thecomfortcompany.net